We recently again prepared the ultimate weapon: “MEGABACON”: 5-6 hours of water smoke using apple and hickory on a precooked, store brand spiral cut smoked ham. That’s right: Twice Smoked and the glaze poured over it for the last 30 minutes.
All quiet on the San Antonio front. No riots (unless you count the minor Schipper-Skirmishes over the fat cast-offs.. almost jumped into that one myself).
John Kerry should consider a few options at this point as Posing Secretary of State:
- Being a long-time traitor to our country he should resign immediately before he embarrasses himself further, retiring into obscurity in his own little piece of Heinzland heaven.
- Consider “Bacon Diplomacy”. He can start by delivering Megabacon to a peace talk between his Bashur-Buddy and his Al Quaeda friends just to see what happens. Why not? Trial and error seems to be the order of the day with this admin’s foreign policy. I would like to see him deliver it personally while maneuvering a Swiftboat to a meeting with his good friends at a location along the Euphrates.
- Request that he be named to a new cabinet position: “Secretary of Offense”-or- “War Monger in Sub-chief”… If nothing else his Sire could name him “War Czar” or do some cool Czar-Like coronation ceremony with scepters and things like that (you know, monarchy-like things that royal-types do).