Megabacon = Megadiplomacy -or-Megabacongeddon?


HammmI’d like to ‘weigh-in’ on the bacon issue.. as this is a matter of national security.

We recently again prepared the ultimate weapon: “MEGABACON”: 5-6 hours of water smoke using apple and hickory on a precooked, store brand spiral cut smoked ham. That’s right: Twice Smoked and the glaze poured over it for the last 30 minutes.

All quiet on the San Antonio front. No riots (unless you count the minor Schipper-Skirmishes over the fat cast-offs.. almost jumped into that one myself).

John Kerry should consider a few options at this point as Posing Secretary of State:

  1. Being a long-time traitor to our country he should resign immediately before he embarrasses himself further, retiring into obscurity in his own little piece of Heinzland heaven.
  2. Consider “Bacon Diplomacy”. He can start by delivering Megabacon to a peace talk between his Bashur-Buddy and his Al Quaeda friends just to see what happens. Why not? Trial and error seems to be the order of the day with this admin’s foreign policy. I would like to see him deliver it personally while maneuvering a Swiftboat to a meeting with his good friends at a location along the Euphrates.
  3. Request that he be named to a new cabinet position: “Secretary of Offense”-or- “War Monger in Sub-chief”… If nothing else his Sire could name him “War Czar” or do some cool Czar-Like coronation ceremony with scepters and things like that (you know, monarchy-like things that royal-types do).
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